Patience

As I'm cleaning the kitchen this morning, Alaina is digging in the utensil drawer. I asked her, "Please shut the drawer." She did not respond. "Alaina, PLEASE shut the drawer." To which she replied, "MOM, I doin' somfin. PASCHENCE."

On that note, I waited patiently as she grabbed her straws, got down from her stool and closed the drawer.

Glue

Diana: "Mom, you know (we'll call him Bill) Bill's mom right (a kid from school)?"
Me: "Ya, why?"
Diana: "Can you please tell Bill's mom that he is eating glue sticks? I don't think that is very healthy."
Me: "Um, you'd be right. That's not very healthy." As I choke back laughter....

Officially too old.

It's been awhile since I've blogged Diana's funnies. There have been a couple since my last blog but the funniest have happened most recent.....one of which has led me to the conclusion that Diana is officially to old for Dora the Explorer. She has also been getting a little sassy these days and true smart ass fashion replied to Dora on the TV, "It's in you're backpack! Ugh, why do you ALWAYS forget?" I just about spit my coffee up that morning!

Then a few weeks ago we are driving and the subject of death comes up again. Diana says to me, "Mom, is Bear going to die."
"Eventually, but we don't have to worry about that for hopefully along time. He is pretty young and should live to be a happy, old dog."
Diana thinks for a second and replies, "I don't want him to die."
"Diana, hun, you shouldn't worry about these things."
She is silent for less than 30 seconds before she says to me, "Mom, when Bear dies can we get another dog?"

I cannot wait to hear what Alaina has to say. She is already funny, and I'm sure will have A LOT to say on these same subjects!

Is Grandma with Pixie?

From the day Diana was born we have told her about her late Grandma Diane. She knows that she was named after her and she also knows that she was born on her birthday, a very special day that was!

Occasionally, and especially as she gets older, she asks more and more questions about Grandma Diane. I like to think this came out of the blue, but logically or logically to an almost 5 year old, I can see how she made the connection...

I was at work and Diana was dropped off here after daycare. She likes to 'work' with Mom and pretends she has her own office. She appeared at the side of my desk and said, "Mom, is Daddy's mom in heaven?"

"Yes, she is."
"How did she die," said Diana.
"Well, she was sick."
"Why was she sick?"
"She had cancer..."
"What is cancer?"

I had to think hard and quickly for the right words to say..."Cancer is something that sometimes happens to people and makes them sick inside their bodies. Sometimes the doctor's can help and make it better and sometimes it grows too quickly and the doctors can't help. Grandma's cancer grew too quickly."

Diana's eyes grew wide and she said, "Is she in heaven with Pixie?"

I saw that this made her feel better and I couldn't help but grow a big smile on my face. You see, Pixie is Diana's fish who sadly went to heaven. She has been asking for another fish recently since Pixie came from Santa last year and she is hoping maybe, just maybe, he will bring her another one this year. She made the connection that if both Grandma and Pixie were in heaven then maybe they were together!

I'm going to marry you....someday!

Diana told me the other day that on the bus she told Broden she loved him....lol, this one's good. So, I casually asked her, "Is that right, and what did he say?"
  "Well, actually, I told him that I am going to marry him someday."
  "Oh yeah, and what did he have to say to that?"
  "Um, he just screamed."
  "In the middle of class?"
  "No, we were on the bus!"
Jay and I had a total giggle out of this and I had to call to Danielle, Broden's mom, when the subject passed and Diana wouldn't realize I was ratting her out....and Danielle thought it was interesting that she thought she would have to worry about Diana hitting on her son! ha ha ha

The school session, Diana says to me something to the effect of, "Gotta get to school to tell Broden how much I love him...." I felt it only fair that I should warn her about how boys can be at this age (or at any age, really) and say to her, "Diana, I know that you love Broden but you don't have to tell him every day. Boys at this age aren't really interested in girls quite yet....and you want to stay friends with Broden for a long time, right?"
  Jay and his smart mouth, "Ya, you don't wanna scare him off and make him go running!"
  I had to chuckle, it's so true!
  Diana notices our teasing nature and facial expressions and replies, "Okay, I won't scare him....today!"

Good Question!

I don't know what a blog is even. Can't believe I'm doing this....but SOMEBODY has to be interested in what I have to say...right?! Or maybe not, but too freaking bad - I love you too!

I am naming my blog page - Funny Stuff My Kids Say. I would say funny S*#% my kids say, but that might be inappropriate, and I think it has been coined already by William Schatner! So for now, this is a way for me to document things my kids say which I know will be funny to me now, which I might remember for a few months, but in time, will fade - like all other things in life. This way if I can share them with others, they will remember and remind me, "Remember, when Diana made that comment about the lady in the store..." Here goes!

Last night we took Diana to the movies. Just Diana with Mommy and Daddy. I was so excited to have some bonding time and absent mindedly thought...less expensive than going to say, the Cities to the Zoo or to a play, etc etc. I was wrong. Megamind in 3D was $26.50 in Cold Spring for 2 adults and 1 kid. Say wha?! I always thought Cold Spring was fairly priced compared to St. Cloud. Wrong! A little perturbed for a family who is losing half their income in 2 months! But, that said, to watch Diana in those cute little glasses get so excited about a movie was literally, PRICELESS. She talked a mile a minute about the movie, "ha ha Mom, did you see him..." It doesn't matter the money it cost, but the memories that we can we never replace!

Here comes the funny/awkward part......on the way home, Diana asks a VERY good question. A very serious question. She says to me, "Mom, why did my big sister Danielle grow in your belly like me but she has a different Mommy?" Yikes! I hadn't thought that one through! I rehearse these things, I know what I'm going to say about boys/girls, about potty mouth inappropriate words, you name it - I have rehearsed it! But, for some reason, I SO did not see this one coming! I responded by saying, "That is a very good question. Can I have a minute to think about how I can explain it in a way you will understand." "Sure Mom." I looked at Jay and said, "What the hell do I do know!" I got a giggle and a "I dunno." Great. Of course, not 2 minutes later and 2 questions about different subjects, "Mom, can you answer my question yet?" LOL. I kept it simple, as simple as I could...."Sometimes Mommy's have babies which they are not ready to take care of but another Mommy could take give a really good home, and when Mommy had Danielle I couldn't so Auntie Gail gave was able to give her a better home." Aah. With beads on my forehead, Diana said "Oh, I get it."